


The Companion Project

by Artdefines06



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Memory Alteration, Sad Victor Nikiforov, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artdefines06/pseuds/Artdefines06
Summary: Victor agrees to help tutor an Android in the art of being human. In return, he gets a temporary perfect boyfriend. Then the powers that be expect them to simply go on with their separate lives as though they had never met.Will Victor be able to forget his first love?Will Yuuri be able to forget the man he was practically created for?Will he have a choice?
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 30
Kudos: 74
Collections: Yuri!!! on Ice Remix Challenge 2021





	1. Creation

The first time Victor saw Yuuri, it was only a sketch.

A realistic rendition of a man who could be. A concept of a human conceived for his approval.

Victor took in the features, barely glancing at them before he hastily nodded and pushed the paper back across the table. It gave him a twisty feeling inside to think too hard about the logistics of creation and ownership, so he had given creative authority to the team responsible for the deed. They had done a remarkable job. With just a glance, the image stayed with him. Dark slicked back hair, sultry eyebrows he would dream about, and wide eyes in shades of copper and bronze. Perhaps that is what they were. He knew so little, and he was trying to keep it that way. 

This entire ordeal had been Mila’s idea. She overheard him whining and moping and wishing for a simple solution to the most complex problem known to man (an uncomplicated relationship) and came to offer a suggestion. She had a friend who had a brother working on something big. They were trying to make people. Advanced AI androids who looked and acted like people. To help them learn to be more authentic, they wanted to pair each android with human counterparts who would provide feedback to the makers for further improvements. In return, the android would attempt to fulfill a need the human had. 

Victor had a mighty need. After twenty years spent devoting himself to his country and the ice, he needed to focus on himself. He needed to relax and enjoy life. He needed to learn how to interact with others outside of a competition setting. 

He needed to get laid. Desperately.

The Companion Project was top secret and highly selective, but Victor met all their criteria and his application was accepted in no time. The team had assured him they could craft him a companion to help him with his problems. A companion who would prioritize and pamper him. This android would be his safe space where he could experiment without embarrassment or feel too self-conscience. His companion would not reject him or become angry with him. In fact, one reason he was here today was to take a psychological analysis that would determine his needs and wants and make sure his android did not cross any barriers he was not comfortable with.

There were nights he stayed up tossing and turning, prepared to call and cancel. 

He never picked up the phone though, because the bigger truth was that laying there in the dark he was lonely. He was too afraid to date an actual human, and rich enough to afford a fake one. So here he sat in front of a bored assistant, signing what felt like hundreds of papers, just so he could feel loved. 

When it all began to overwhelm him, he asked to see the sketch again. At the bottom was a name - Yuuri. He looked back at those interesting brown eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. He finished the papers, paid the down payment, and went home to wait for his companion. 

Two very long weeks later, his doorbell rang at 3 pm, right on schedule. Victor shot off the couch and yanked the door open to find three familiar faces smiling at him. The first two he recognized from the many brochures and contracts he had read and re-read until his eyes crossed. The tall, gangly Czech man with the goatee was Emil Nekola. The smaller, shrewd looking Italian was Michelle Crispino. They were the minds behind the companion project. Michele went about creating the mechanics and physical workings, while Emil was the genius behind the algorithm that helped it to function and learn.

Behind them both was Yuuri. He was flawless. They had dressed him in a dark blue button-down, black slacks, and dress shoes. Behind him was an enormous duffel bag, presumably with more clothes and other essentials. 

Victor let his eyes travel back up, noting that Yuri's clothes were tailored to fit his body in a way that left very little to the imagination. Victor found the gorgeous eyes from the sketch staring straight through to his soul, analyzing and assessing every inch of him. He swore they glinted gold as Yuuri tilted his head slightly, as if in thought. Then, something must have clicked. Recognition flashed over the android's face. Immediately it was like a switch in Yuuri turned from ‘assess situation’ to ‘seduce client’. His gaze turned heated and his mouth curved into a slick smile. 

“Hello, Victor. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His voice was deep and husky and put special emphasis on the word ‘pleasure’ in a way that made Victor react in a dozen ways that were not appropriate. Yuuri was still staring and Victor was thoroughly ensnared in his gaze. 

Yuuri smiled wider, a wicked gleam in his eye, and he took one step forward in Victor’s direction. Immediately, two arms reached out to grab him from either side.

“Yuuri: Disengage. Run guest protocols.”

The change was immediate. The polite but distant look returned. His posture relaxed, and he stepped back behind the doctors as though nothing had happened. 

“May we come in?” Dr. Nekola asked. Dr. Crispino looked around like he was paranoid about being watched and nodded in agreement. Victor awkwardly stepped aside and waved them in. He shut the door behind him and settled everyone on the couch. Yuuri sat between the doctors, the three of them not quite fitting on his two-person sofa in a way that would have been comical if he hadn’t been so nervous. 

Victor sat in an armchair across from them, finding himself unsure of what to do. The doctors introduced themselves properly, explaining that they wanted to help this first session begin smoothly. They explained some things Victor already knew, but it was good to hear them again. 

This was Yuuri’s first companion experiment. Victor was to report back on his experience as often as needed, but no less than once a week. They wanted to know if Yuuri was performing as expected, if any new behaviors or skills developed, if any adjustments were needed, and what improvements they could make. Yuuri had rules set so he should do no purposeful harm or act too strangely, but because of the unique nature of his developing and complex decision-making framework, unexpected problems could arise and would often need to be navigated in real-time. 

Dr. Crispino pulled a decent-sized manuscript out of a briefcase and handed it over to Victor. He opened the first page and saw a long and detailed table of contents, all having to do with Yuuri’s modes and protocols. 

“We don't want you to think of this as a user manual. It’s more of a reference for when Yuuri might need guidance or you are not sure how to go about accomplishing a task. You don’t control Yuuri, but the hope is that he can learn to process events and make decisions that are acceptable and act accordingly.”

This confused Victor. “Didn’t you just control him? At the door? You stopped him from moving toward me.”

One looked abashed, and the other looked upset. Dr. Crispino explained himself, agitated and defensive. 

“Social norms dictate that he shouldn’t just —I mean he we don’t know what he would have done, and he needs to behave like a civil and sane person!”

Dr. Nekola cut in, smoothing out the situation. 

“We’ve tried to limit our time with him to only a few days for exactly this reason. We are not precisely the best candidates for the job of teaching him. We are too close to the project, to the code and the wires which comprise him, and it obscures our view of who Yuuri is as a person. That was why we are taking the time to choose companions. We chose you because you met many criteria for value-based decision making and compassion that aligned with what we would like to see in Yuuri. You will just be the first, though. You contract is for three months, and then we will choose another, with similar values but an entirely unique personality and approach to life. We hope that through this process Yuuri will learn from all of his experiences to become a more well-rounded and believable individual.”

Victor was very uncomfortable. He didn’t want a confused, childlike servant. He wanted a companion. Yes, Yuuri was a robot, but he was intelligent, right? 

Yuuri was sitting on the couch staring into space, and something about this image bothered Victor. Then he realized what it was. He remembered being a child, sat on a fancy couch between his parents who spoke around him and about him over his head to various tutors and coaches. He remembered the shame and the embarrassment and the anger in the beginning. He remembered the punishments for acting out of turn. For breaking protocol. More than that, he knew that it had worked and that as the years had gone on he had allowed it more and more until he barely recognized himself. 

If he was to be Yuuri’s first guide, he would set him on the right path. Victor looked right at him, catching his eye and holding his attention.

“Yuuri, can I give you commands the way they can?”

“Yes, Victor, you are set as a trusted associate. As long as it does not bring physical harm to you, myself, or others, I will obey any command you give.”

“Ok, the first command is to drop guest protocols. Can you return to whatever is most comfortable for you?”

“That would be base state. From base state, I have the most choices available to me.”

“Great! Whenever possible, I request that you work from base state.”

“Understood,” Yuuri’s eyes were shining and aware again, and there was a soft smile on his face. “Thank you, Victor.”

The difference was remarkable. It gave Victor the courage to continue.

“Yuuri, can you tell me what you were going to do at the door? When they stopped you?”

“I wanted to look at your eyes more closely. They interested me. It didn’t seem improper, but I suppose I could see how —”

“Not at all Yuuri, I would have very much liked that.”

“I thought so. I have all the data from the tests and interviews you did, which I was using in my calculations.”

“I want you to be confident in your decisions in this house, Yuuri. If I dislike something you do, I will let you know. I expect the same from you.” A look of puzzlement crossed Yuuri’s face. “Have you ever thought about whether you like or dislike something, Yuuri?”

“No, I don’t think I have. I'm capable of it, but the idea was never presented to me.”

The doctors looked suspiciously guilty, one sinking back into the cushions trying to look invisible, the other studying his feet. Victor pressed on. This issue of consent was important to untangle before he could continue.

“Yuuri, you have the right to tell anyone, at any time, that you do not like how they are treating you, or how their words or actions are making you feel. It can be done in a kind but firm manner and the other party needs to respect that. If they do not, you are to report it to someone who you know will treat you fairly. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Victor.”

Dr. Crispino surged forward, sitting on the edge of the couch like his words were urgent.

“Victor, I’m not sure you understand what you are dealing with. Physically, Yuuri is nearly indestructible and capable of substantial damage if he were to turn violent! Even accidentally, he could -

“The chance of that happening is nearly non-existent Michele! We worked so hard to make Yuuri kind and generous. Instilling him with doubt in himself is equally dangerous. We must trust Yuuri, and I am glad Victor - 

“Emil, they have to understand -

Victor sighed, watching two grown men argue with each other over the lap of his guest. He caught Yuuri’s eye again, speaking loud enough for all to hear him.

“How do you feel about them talking about you like you are not in the room? Does it anger you?”

They all grew quiet, waiting for Yuuri’s answer.

“According to the information they provided me on proper behavior, it is very rude and it should offend me. I am not bothered though, because I believe it stems from their need to control all variables and a fear of the unknown. Also, if they begin to see me as too human it would create a moral dilemma they don't want to face.”

Michele’s jaw was open wide, eyes large. Emil had a silly grin on his face, proud of his creation, even if it had sassed him. Yuuri’s eyes were radiating confidence and mischief. There were suddenly too many people in the room for Victor’s liking.

“Well gentlemen, I feel very safe with Yuuri now. Thank you for your help and the instruction manual. You may leave. Yuuri and I have matters to attend to. Thank you for stopping by!”

As he nearly shoved them out the door, Emil turned and offered a small business card. 

“Remember, we need check in’s and reports at least weekly, more frequently if you can manage. This is my personal number though, in case you want to talk about anything…off the record. Feel free to use it. I think you are going to need it.”

With one more pointed look at Victor, they left. Victor closed the door, and they were alone.

“So, about my eye color…”

Victor was unsure how two geniuses, one of which supposedly had numerous degrees in the humanities and psychology, could be so completely unaware of how a human was expected to behave.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T EAT!”

On the other end of the phone, there was an awkward silence. 

“Well, Yuuri doesn’t need the nutrients like we do, and we figured it would be easier on the clients if…”

“If what? If he just sat and stared at them like a zombie? Or if he began washing up like a servant? Is that what you think clients expected? He’s supposed to be a companion, not a live-in maid! Can you fix it?”

Michele cleared his throat, sounding very uncomfortable. 

“He does have, um, repositories. For the storage of, ah, fluids. In small amounts. As long as he does not intake more than a certain portion size and has the time to clean it out before any other… activities, it should be fine.”

Emil cut in to smooth out the discomfort.

“We will work on that update and let you know when it's ready. In the meantime, maybe you could have Yuuri relay to you the information in the packet, or tell him stories about your life so he can get to know you better?”

“And when we are done with that? I’ve noticed when he has nothing to do he stares at me. Or a wall. What does he do when he’s bored? What if I need to go out? I understand Yuuri can’t be in public because he might draw suspicion, but what is he supposed to do while I’m gone shopping?”

“He can perform maintenance on himself and download the updates you are requesting.”

“That's it? Doesn’t he have any hobbies or interests or activities other than being a robot?”

The silence told Victor everything he needed to know.

“Forget it, I’ll have him read some books. I have shelves full of them.”

“Oh, that is a great idea! Why didn’t we think of that?”

“HE’S NEVER READ A BOOK!!!”

In the first month, after his initial frustrations wore off or were patched up, he and Yuuri fell into a routine. Victor would go about a typical day in his life, and Yuuri would ask a million questions to understand better. Victor did not mind the questions, they were always perceptive and with purpose. He enjoyed the way Yuuri’s mind worked to figure things out and cut to the heart of an issue. It didn’t bother him when Yuuri would point out that something he was doing could be more efficient and enjoyed learning from him. Even better was when Yuuri would declare something as frivolous, because that meant Victor got to introduce him to an unknown luxury or way to enjoy himself. Victor was a firm proponent of spoiling oneself and extra happy to spoil Yuuri. 

In the second month, Victor decided Yuuri had a good understanding of everything they could do in his small apartment. He began asking Yuuri questions of what he liked, what he thought they should do, what he wanted to spend his time on. Yuuri was an avid reader and finished every book in Victor's substantial collection in a few weeks. It turned out Yuuri had been reading instead of sleeping and read at a much faster rate than humans. Watching him rapidly turn pages and absorb words was mildly uncomfortable, so Victor modeled what he should look like visually if anyone was ever to watch him read in public, with the understanding that he could choose whichever speed he wished. They worked on this pacing problem with nearly everything that he hadn’t been taught in a lab, from cooking to board games to scrolling social media.

Victor just wanted to give Yuuri options. It was really the least he could do for all that Yuuri gave him. While Emil may not have understood basic human behaviors, he understood relationships because Yuuri excelled as a boyfriend. He was like a character out of a romance novel. Always looking picture-perfect, always eager to help with chores, an amazing listener who affirmed him, and breathtaking in bed. 

They must have spent all their time programming Yuuri to be the perfect lover and had no time left over to teach him basic things like eating. When Victor was boneless and euphoric, half in this world and half in another, he wondered if anyone else in his life would ever live up to Yuuri. 

That thought always led down a dark path, so he would move it aside and focus on how his body felt and how his spirit was healing wrapped in Yuuri’s care. By the third month, they fit together like clockwork, knowing each other's intricacies and weaknesses. Victor began to say ‘My Yuuri’ when greeting his lover and encouraged Yuuri to call him Vitya, which brought him endless delight.

Victor felt rejuvenated, ready to skate again. He would let ideas for new programs flow over him, play through them in his mind, even talk them over with Yuuri. He never committed them to paper and reveled in the freedom he had. He didn’t have to be a captive to his creativity, didn’t have to warp and alter it to fit a point system or Yakov’s glare. 

Some days he would even skate for Yuuri. Private ice was scarce, but he managed, and those few sessions were transformative. Victor loved the feel of Yuuri’s eyes following his every movement and made every jump higher and spin faster. He was sure he had never performed better. He knew it was love strengthening him, but dared not give too much life to his feelings. 

They did not talk about it. Yuuri probably didn’t see a need, and Victor was too frightened of the potential for hurt. He did not know if Yuuri had the ability to love, or if it would be fair to ask it of him when their time was dwindling to a close so quickly. Then there was the fact that he would not be the only person to ever work with Yuuri. He would probably not even be the only person to love him.

In their last days together, Victor skated Stammi Vicino for Yuuri. Into it, he poured all the words he dared not say. He knew it was the best presentation of his life because he was not performing at all. He was simply telling a story of a lonely man who had given up on the world until he found someone who made him want to live again. He told his story to Yuuri in the only way he knew how. Yuuri thanked him a hundred times that night. Whispers kissed into flesh. He had read enough fiction to know a romantic gesture and told Victor he would treasure the memory forever. 

There was little fanfare when he left. An omelet for breakfast, a quick kiss goodby, and a black car out front to pick him up. His Yuuri was gone. 

Victor was now supposed to be ready to take on the world and go find himself an actual boyfriend. It was the last thing he felt like doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I love Android fics and this idea of becoming who you are because of all the people you have met in your life is one of my favorite canon themes. It fits Yuuri nicely. While the story will be in Victor's POV I do consider it a Yuuri Fic. I just am more comfortable writing Victor and if I had to write the thoughts of an android I would way overthink it and would have never finished.
> 
> The whole work is finished and will be updated every 2-3 days.
> 
> Thanks for reading and check out my other works! Feel free to find me on tumblr @adrianasbusybrain or leave a comment here I would love to hear from you!


	2. Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor meet again, but it is not the reunion Victor dreamed of.

The second time Victor saw Yuuri, it was out of the corner of his eye.

He had been in Detroit, Michigan. An old acquaintance, Coach Celestino, asked him to do a lecture and demonstration for his students, one of which was entering the Grand Prix for the first time. It was his first attempt at something like this. Not full-time coaching, just a toe in the water to see if he liked it. Truth be told, he was a bundle of nerves. He could not help wondering what the students expected from him. Would he let them down somehow?

Victor was early, warming up and cutting figures and trying not to look unsure as students trickled in and filled the bleachers. They all had their skates on, but he would first perform a short piece he had used as an example in the lecture yesterday, where he had broken the choreography and moves down piece by piece. After the performance and another quick reminder about what they would practice and why, they were to work with him in small groups. After, he had an individual session with the star pupil, a boy named Phichit. 

It was in the middle of a tricky piece of footwork that Victor happened to look up. He then fell promptly over his own two feet. Shock ran up his elbow and knee as they hit the ice, but he was too busy panicking to notice. His heart pounded and he could hear his own breathing and all he could think was that it could not be possible. Immediately he felt ashamed of himself, of his imagination, and of that damn gay hope that surged in his chest and even now was still whispering to him. Students were racing over, forming a loose circle around him but he didn’t dare move. Not until he had himself under control. Not until he could sternly tell himself that there was no way that could be -

“YUURI! MEDICAL ASSISTANCE PLEASE!”

Victor flipped over as fast as his body would let him, feeling twinges of pain and completely ignoring them. The concerned crowd parted and there he was. His Yuuri. There was so much to take in Victor could hardly keep up with his thoughts. Yuuri was skating across the ice. Skating. In skates. Ice-skating. His hair was soft and loose, not slicked back like Victor was accustomed to. It made him look younger, more like the other students. There were also glasses, thick blue frames that obscured the full brilliance of his gaze. He had on baggy, ill-fitting sweats in mismatching colors. While his skating was solid, he seemed to move less confidently than Victor remembered, his arms close to his sides and stiff. As he approached, he looked not to Victor but to a boy on his left. 

“Permission to examine the patient, Phichit-kun”?

“Yea, totally! Oh, this is Yuuri. He’s my…friend. He’s trained at assessing injuries so he can check you out. Go for it, Yuuri!”

Yuuri crouched down on the ice in front of Victor, looking up at him tentatively from under his bangs and through those awful glasses. Victor's breath caught in his throat. It was really him. He existed. It hadn’t all been some fever dream. The ache of not even being able to share his loss with anyone due to the secretive nature of the project had been so deep that he wondered if it would ever ease. Now Victor could feel no pain; only the thrill of being in Yuuri’s presence again. 

He could imagine the world melting away, and Yuuri crawling over him, placing his weight down and pushing forward to whisper into his ear -

“Hello, My name is Yuuri. May I have your name?”

Victor blinked. Yuuri was looking at him blankly, waiting for a response. “Your name is required for a record of this examination. Please state your full name and age before I can continue.”

Victor managed, just barely, to croak out the information even though his mind was screaming. 

Yuuri didn’t remember him. 

Which made total sense. Privacy concerns and the hundreds of pages of contracts he signed; somewhere in those pages was the answer to why, he was sure. That did not make the revelation hurt any less. 

“Do I have permission to do a physical examination?”

Yuuri was one hundred percent professional and detached. Victor was a wreck. He nodded through tearing eyes, holding himself back from yelling out strange things like ‘I miss cooking with you!’ or ‘My Yuuri it’s me! It’s Vitya!’. Yuuri slid forward and picked up Victor’s arm, laying his fingers over the pulse point on his wrist. After a few seconds, he looked up at Victor sharply, worry flashing in his eyes. 

“Phichit, can you help get everyone back to the bleachers, please? I think Vi- the patient would benefit from space.”

Victor did not miss the way he hesitated over using Victor’s name, instead referring to him impersonally. These pauses were new. The Yuuri he had known had always made strong decisions, even if he was charging blindly into a strange situation. This Yuuri seemed almost scared to decide, relying on Phichit to bolster his confidence and deferring to his opinions. Phichit seemed to trust Yuuri since he did as he was asked and ushered everyone away. 

For a brief moment, it was just the two of them. Yuuri continued his exam, testing Victor's joints and range of motion with a careful grip and precise movements. Victor was too in shock, adrenaline running through his veins, to feel much of anything. He wondered if Yuuri was aware of this because there was a crease between his eyebrows that Victor had only seen when he was trying to work out a contradiction. Something he knew to be true that differed from the evidence in front of him. 

Victor had only seen this look a few times before. The first time had been when Yuuri was learning to cook. He had been making pancakes, and could not understand why each pancake came out differently when he had followed the instructions and never changed the heat on the griddle. The first few were undercooked, and the last few became burned. Yuuri looked at the stovetop like to hid all the secrets of the universe and refused to share them with him. Victor had worried that he would take his frustration out on the poor griddle. Instead, he simply turned to Victor and, in a flat voice, asked what he had done wrong. Victor explained that the batter itself affects the heat of the griddle and that the griddle holds more heat over time, and Yuuri made adjustments accordingly. His next batch of pancakes had been perfect. 

Yuuri had that same look, except this time it was less menacing. It seemed to turn inward like it was himself he was upset at. There were moments Yuuri almost seem to not notice Victor was there at all, he was so focused on whatever was happening in his head.

Phichit returned, crouching down with the two of them to ask how things were going. 

Victor stayed quiet, expecting Yuuri to give his analysis. He did not. Yuuri was busy staring a hole into the ice. Victor looked at Phichit. Phichit looked at Yuuri. Very softly, as if not wanting to interrupt him, he lay a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. When Yuuri looked up, eyes wide, Phichit asked him for his medical opinion directly.

“Oh. Yes. There is the possibility of an ankle sprain. He should continue resting until he feels more stable, and maybe get a second opinion from someone more qualified. If you would like, I could carry him —

“YES!” Phichit whooped.

“NO!” Victor hissed. 

When both boys looked at him in surprise, he put on his best face of disapproval.

“It’s not normal for a smaller man to single-handedly carry a larger one, and would draw attention and suspicion, which I don’t believe you should be doing. Should you, Phichit??”

To his credit, Phichit turned very red and embarrassed.

“Yea, you’re right. Sorry. We could both help you up if you need, or I can call the actual medics or some students.”

Victor waved him off. With a bracing breath, he got his legs under himself and stood. His heart rate was still high, but he felt steadier, more in control. Yuuri looked around, seemingly not sure what to do now. Victor carefully spoke to Phichit, hoping he was being clear without making himself too obvious.

“Shouldn’t Yuuri go back to your dorm, Phichit? Where there are fewer people? Isn’t there a rule about that somewhere? In a contract maybe?”

Yuuri turned back to him wide-eyed, looking like he was in trouble. Phichit moved to his side, a hand on his shoulder in defense.

“He has permission to be here in case I get hurt or need help. Do YOU have a problem with that? How do you even know about - you know what, nevermind.”

Decidedly done with Victor, he whipped out his cell phone and began typing into it. After a few dings back and forth his frustration turned back into a sunny smile.

"If you want, we can have dinner later? Dorm 403. I think we all deserve enormous amounts of junk food after this, huh Yuuri? I bet I can eat more chicken wings than you this time!”

Victor had never thought he was the type to correct younger people, even though Yura always yelled at him for providing advice, but he just couldn’t help himself. He had to protect Yuuri.

“You don’t mean that, right? It’s a joke? Yuuri can’t eat more than a cup of food, it’s not good for him!”

“What? No way. We’ve cleared out entire buffets. If I can’t have a muckbang every time I get stressed out on a test, what is even the point of a college roommate?”

With mumbles and eye rolls, Phichit turned Yuuri around by his shoulders and skated them both back to the seating area. Victor had been schooled and dismissed by a twenty-year-old. He was truly getting old. Yuuri must have new upgrades that Victor was unaware of. It was an unsettling feeling to realize he didn’t know Yuuri, just as Yuuri didn’t seem to know him.

After a few rotations and flexes, Victor determined his ankle was fine and the lesson should continue as though his world hadn’t been shaken. 

It was difficult, but he did his best to focus on the students who were there to learn from him and not on the beautiful man sitting on the highest bleacher, reading a thick textbook and studiously taking notes. _I taught him to read that slowly!_ Over two hours of teaching, Yuuri did not look at him once that he could tell. It was so different from before, when Yuuri never took his eyes off of him. He missed the feeling immensely. When Yuuri finally put his pen down and closed his book Victor was quick to skate over and catch his attention.

“If you’re finished with your assignment, you could join us on the ice. I could work with you. I would love to see you skate.”

The words slipped out of him without thought to their consequence. It would be torture. His hands on Yuuri’s waist, guiding him and holding him as he made minor corrections. He wanted it so much it hurt. 

Yuuri looked down, tucked his hands under his thighs, and blushed. In all their days and nights of doing the dirtiest things imaginable to each other, Victor had never once seen Yuuri blush. All he had ever done was provoke Yuuri into working harder with his teasing. Seeing him flustered and sweet was so different, but so charming. Victor wanted to wrap Yuuri up in his coat and whisper compliments and praise into his ear to see him turn pink again.

Yuuri mumbled something Victor couldn’t hear. He took one step toward the bleachers when Phichit was suddenly at his side.

“He’s not allowed to skate.”

“Why not? 

“Too dangerous. Hard to replace if he gets hurt. Personally, I think it’s because he would be beautiful and draw too much attention.”

Yuuri hid his head in his hands at that. Phichit rolled his eyes.

“Don’t let him fool you, it’s all an act. He’s actually pretty snarky when we are alone. Being shy draws less attention when we are in public, so that's the go-to. Yuuri’s job is to make sure I keep my grades up so I can focus on my skating and not get kicked out of school, so he's got more work to do. Can you come to watch my toe loop again?”

Victor was drawn away and had little time to think after that. While the students were in the showers, Yuuri was still up in the stands, reading. Victor knew he had to be careful, but this would be his only chance to get Yuuri alone. He had to find how much he remembered. How much he had forgotten. He went and sat next to him carefully, so as not to spook him.

“What are you reading?”

“A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley”

“That’s a good one. My favorite in that genre though is Kafka. Have you read The Trial?”

“No, I…Wait. Yes. I have.”

Yuuri was staring into the abyss again, eyes stormy. 

“Was it one of Phichit’s assignments?”

“No. I have read it though, I could tell you every word.”

“When did you read it?”

“April 26th. This year.”

“Where did you read it?”

Yuuri was silent. 

“What did the book look like?”

“It was a black paperback with red vertical lines on the cover, published in 1995. It was worn because it had been read many times.”

“By who?”

More silence. Yuuri’s frown deepened.

“Where were you sitting? Where did you get the book? Where did you put it back when you were done? What was cooking for dinner that night? Who took the time to explain the parallels between reality and fiction to you and then had to tell you you could not fix the broken system because no one wanted it to be fixed?! Who’s book was it, Yuuri!”

Victor had grown heated, his questions more pointed, coming out faster and more terse than he wanted. How did Yuuri not remember? Had it meant so little, their time together? How could he remember something as trivial as a book but not the surrounding moments? 

Yuuri looked straight at him with a frightened, soul searching look that begged for answers. Victor slumped over, disappointed in himself for taking his rage out on Yuuri who had done nothing wrong. 

“Ask your fine doctor’s, maybe they will tell you. I’m sorry, Yuuri. Tell Phichit I won't be over for dinner. It was nice to see you again.”

There was so much more he wanted to say. I miss you. I loved you. Have a good life. Run away with me. I’m sorry for everything. I apologize for nothing.

Instead, Victor picked up his bag and left it all behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to write fewer words as a challenge to myself. I'm not doing great at it, but if you wonder why the chapters feel short or are lacking tons of detail compared to my normal writing, that's why.
> 
> For example, I didn't write Makkachin in at all. I forgot and then decided it would be too much to add. Is Makka there in the background? Did Makka never exist? Did Makka pass away? You decide!
> 
> There was a myriad of details I could have forced in about Yuuri's life with his other companions, but I'll leave it all up to you. Feel free to let me know your headcannons! @adrianasbusybrain on tumblr or right here in the comments!


	3. Learning Curve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor has a chance to reconcile his feelings, and to help Yuuri accept his own.

The third time Victor saw Yuuri, it was not by choice.

Several months later Victor was shaking snow out of his hair and off his coat in the lobby of the Palladium de Champéry. His bags were forwarded to Christophe’s private address, but he had the cab from the train take him here so he could surprise his friend. Chris had been begging him to come for years, and a visit was long overdue. He was hoping he could help cheer Chris up after a lackluster performance at the Cup of China. Victor could also use some cheering up. It had been a rough few months and he needed to let off some steam and relax with a good friend.

After his disaster trip to Michigan, he had received a stern phone call from Emil and Michele. They had a record of his ‘interactions’ with their ‘asset’ (both creepy and dehumanizing) and they were not happy with his meddling. The idea that there were missing memories had thrown Yuuri into some sort of robot error crisis and cause him to ‘throw exceptions’. While Victor felt sorry for Yuuri, he did not apologize to anyone. Instead, he grilled them on how the memory loss was possible. It took a while, but they finally explained what they had done.

Everything Yuuri did; every piece of data he took in with his senses, every thought he had, was attached with tags that described the details of it. So reading a book would be tagged with Book, Reading, Title, Author. Then the environment was separate. Victors green couch, Victor’s Livingroom, Victor’s Apartment, April, Daytime, Chicken Smell, Cool Temperature, Dog Snoring.

This gave Yuuri the ability to more quickly and easily organize and recall the information. It also gave the team behind him the ability to add, alter, and delete information at will. The lab had taken anything attached to the Victor tag, and removed it.

For privacy. For experimentation. For their own god complex.

Victor told them Yuuri’s confusion was their fault, and that they could go to hell. They calmly responded that he was still under contract, and the project was still evolving in surprising ways. They would take his worries into consideration. They would make a note.

Then they stopped communicating with him.

There had been nothing he could do but stew in his own anger until he had burned out. Now he was feeling sad and hollow and needed a shoulder to cry on. Inside the rink music was blaring and Chris was practicing full out. He was wearing a pink tank top that stated “I don’t Sweat - I Sparkle”. His routine looked decidedly better than it had last month, and Victor was pleased. They would have fun together. Victor could not wait to skate again. He had been dancing instead since it was less taxing and let him focus on releasing his inner turmoil. Dance was cathartic, but he missed the rush of wind in his hair and the thrill of the speed and control in skating.

Chris caught sight of him and smoothly skated over. He looked skeptical, like he found Victor’s presence more confusing than exciting.

“Victor! To what do I owe the pleasure? Is there an event I am unaware of? While it’s lovely that you should stop by on your way to somewhere else it’s customary to call first.”

Victor was only slightly thrown off. It was unheard of for him to visit, so the sense of rejection only nagged at him a little before he put it away in the back of his mind. This was Chris, and they were friends, and it would be fine.

“Not at all. I am here to see you. I have three weeks open to help you prepare for your next round, and celebrate when you win! Surprise!”

As Chris stared at him in bewilderment, Victor felt his smile fade. He always strove to be treasured, to be unforgettable. He wanted to be the spark of joy in everyone’s life. Maybe he was losing his touch? “I know I didn’t call, but I thought you would be happy. You’ve always asked me to visit, and I never did. The truth is, I had a bad…I guess you could call it a break-up. I was looking for a way to distract myself and you are the most distracting person I know.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I know you skate better with competition and encouragement so I hoped If I provided that, you would help me get over everything.”

“Oh, Victor. I’m so sorry, for so many things. I’m sorry you are hurting, and I’m sorry I might not be able to help. I am flattered you came to visit and I would love to keep you busy and pick that clever brain of yours to perfect my choreography, but I’m in a bit of a difficult situation myself. With you gone for the season and frankly disappeared, I had to find someone else to help motivate me. Turns out there is no one in the world as incredible as you, so I had to - literally- create someone.”

Victor’s blood ran cold. He couldn’t mean…

“He’s a robot, but my new companion is incredible! I daresay he’s more handsome than either of us combined and can skate like an angel. Unfortunately, I’m under strict orders to keep him all to myself for the next few months, with specific instructions to keep him from you. Care to explain why that might be?”

Victor shook his head. Maybe Chris got another super sexy skating android companion from an entirely different company? One could hope.

“Hmm, I see. It’s not my fault you decided to surprise me. I’ll ask if you can stay, but I doubt they will be favorable to the idea. The people in charge kept asking if you visited frequently and I swore to them it never even crossed your mind. Funny how these things change. Maybe it’s fate? Either way, he’ll be excited to meet you. He’s quite a fan of yours. It’s almost endearing to hear him gush about how perfect your skating is. We kept trying to tweak it so he treats the thousands of skating programs we made him watch equally when giving advice but it didn’t seem to work. He keeps relying on your example. So we gave up. Who am I to argue? You are the best in the world.”

Victor turned at the sound of the locker room door opening, and there was Yuuri. His hair was slicked back again, and the awful glasses were gone. He had more muscle definition than Victor remembered, highlighted by the skintight workout clothes that Chris always favored. Yuuri’s blue shirt was blank, but the side of his dance pants read “Beautiful Disaster”. He had professional-grade ice skates slung over his shoulder and an eager smile on his face. He looked around the room, presumably for Chris, and Victor watched in slow motion as Yuuri’s eyes found him.

Yuuri stopped. The entire world seemed to stop. Yuuri’s eyes went wide and shiny. Quietly, almost reverently, Yuuri whispered the name to himself, as though he too couldn’t believe what was in front of his eyes.

“Victor?”

For the briefest second, Victor caught himself hoping against hope that Yuuri remembered. He squashed that hope down just as the world sped back up and Yuuri approached with the full force of his charm.

“Victor Nikiforov? This is so incredible. I knew you were friends with Chris, but I didn’t imagine I would ever get to see you in person!” He paused and seemed to collect himself with a deep breath and an overly polite bow. “It is an honor to meet you. Welcome.”

Victor, to his credit, did not cry. He simply stared back at Yuuri, contemplating the unfairness of the world and cosmic karma and wondering what he did to deserve this treatment. Why couldn’t he find love the way so many others had? Eventually, the silence became uncomfortable, and Yuuri flashed a worried look to Chris.

“Will you be staying? Will you be skating with us? I’m sure Chris would appreciate —”

“No, I think not.”

Victor’s bitter reply cut off Yuuri’s words. Chris nodded in response, looking tired and worn out himself.

“I’ll have Masumi send your things to Hotel Suisse. You will like it there. You’re welcome to stay in Sweden and visit the city.”

“I would rather be at home. I’ll find a flight out tomorrow. Thank you, Chris. I promise to call next time.”

“I look forward to it. Next time,” he flashed a glace to Yuuri’s bewildered face, and back to Victor, “Would you like me to call later, to talk about it?”

Victor shook his head. He did not want to make anyone’s life more complicated or create problems again. Chris was doing fine, and he would take good care of Yuuri.

With that thought, he turned on his heel and left, wrapping his coat tight to protect himself. He would call for the cab once he was already outside and away from all this. The snow was preferable to the cold he felt inside when Yuuri looked at him like he was a fascinating stranger.

When Victor felt Yuuri’s eyes watching him that night, he was not surprised.

Victor took his time to recover when he finished skating. He caught his breath, wiped sweat and tears out of his eyes, and waited until the shaking stopped and the weariness set in before he skated over to the boards to where Yuuri was waiting.

Reflecting upon what he wanted say to Yuuri tonight in the few hours between finding him with Chris and deciding to skate for him again, he made some decisions. He did not want to upset Yuuri by mentioning their time together and did not want to say anything to trigger any alarms that might alert a team member he was having a dangerous interaction. Months ago, he had been given a job to teach Yuuri about what it meant to be human, and he wanted to finish that job. He might not be able to protect Yuuri from the men controlling him, but he could try to give him some tools to protect himself.

This Yuuri would be aware Victor had asked Chris if he could use the ice, and this Yuuri was overly interested in him. This Yuuri, Chris’s Yuuri, probably had little self control, which would be exactly how Chris wanted him.

He may not know this version of Yuuri, but he knew Chris, so he could make some assumptions safely. That was how he needed to think. Like the scientists and clients and lawyers, he had to think of Yuuri as more of a machine and less of a lost lover. It was the only way he would survive with his heart intact.

Knowing Yuuri was watching, he had skated for over an hour, eventually finishing with what had been the best performance of Stammi Vicino he had ever done. The fact that Yuuri did not remember the first time he skated it for him did not matter; this was an entirely different version.

Victor knew, even when the program was winning him medals and breaking records, that his presentation was lackluster and fabricated. He had the music commissioned because he had never known love. While the song he received was not what he had envisioned, it was too beautiful to reject and so he had used it, even if he could not fully grasp its meaning.

When he had performed it for Yuuri all those months ago it had been a jubilant display, full of the hope and bliss from being together. He could only imagine back then what it would feel like to miss his Yuuri.

Now he knew. Not only how badly it stung for his Yuuri to have left so easily but to have him be stripped away and gone entirely, never to return. He understood that they had wiped his Yuuri and their fleeting moments of love out of existence. He understood the pain of seeing others in love and happy and wishing they would also suffer. So this rendition balanced the knife-edge between the ecstasy he remembered and the agony that came after.

The unsettled look on Yuuri’s face was what he imagined most of the audience and judges would have felt as well. This interpretation of the piece was not meant to leave one feeling happy. It forced self-reflection and brought forth repressed fears.

After a silent moment, Yuuri huffed out a breath.

“Wow. That was…I mean. I’ve watched every recorded performance of that piece and I knew that seeing you skate live would be different, but that was — I don’t know what words to use. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Victor did not react. He felt the anger wash over him and refused to act on it. It would do no good to deny Yuuri’s words, to force him to try to remember something that was gone. He simply sat and removed his skates, drained in a way he had rarely been before. Yuuri continued speaking, undaunted by his rudeness.

“I’ve been struggling with my skating. I know I’m only here to provide Chris someone to work with, but I try to do my best so he has a real challenge. The physicality of the movements is not too difficult, it’s the emotional aspects that are eluding me. I’m not sure which emotions to display at which moment and end up looking disconnected. Or I’m working so hard to perfect the movements that I can’t focus on looking emotional.”

Victor smiled softly, almost disappointed he had predicted Yuuri’s motives so well and lured him precisely into the conversation he wanted. He was also relieved it had worked.

“Yuuri, it’s not enough to look emotional. You have to be vulnerable. You have to find parts of the skating program that resonate with the experiences you have lived in your life and open yourself up to those moments again. You have to feel, authentically, each and every time you go out to perform. That is what resonates with audiences. That is what makes it an art.”

Yuuri looked shellshocked. He blinked and went quiet, and Victor knew he was thinking, searching his databanks for the answers he wanted.

“I know you have said that before in interviews, but out there just now — you were so sad. Most of your performances and programs were more inspirational and uplifting. Even if they had more somber beats, the journey you took people on was positive. This was the opposite. It had some hopeful moments, but it was so dispirited. It felt like something ending rather than beginning the way the lyrics suggest.”

“We can interpret lyrics in many ways. The singer is preparing to go off with his lost love, yes? In the end, he says ‘Let us leave together, I’m ready now,’ but who is to say what he is leaving, where he is leaving, or who he is going with? Those are the choices we make as the performer. Perhaps he is leaving a place of hope because it was too tiring to keep wishing. Perhaps he is leaving his past behind to follow a new path, and that hurts him just as much as losing his love had.”

Yuuri had that focused look again like the numbers were not adding up and something was missing. Then he gasped as he put it all together.

“To perform it just now, looking so tormented — you know what it feels like to have been left by someone you loved.”

Yuuri connected those dots quickly. Victor had expected no less. He nodded. Yuuri looked at him like he was slightly insane.

“Why would you open yourself up to those dark feelings again, over and over?”

Victor was going to be in trouble for this. At some point, someone would review the footage from Yuuri’s memories today and find this conversation. Victor hoped Yuuri had enough time away from him to ruminate on it. That he kept some essence that wasn’t intrinsically tied to him. Something that would survive past another removal of their brief time together.

“I cannot forget my pain as easily as some, Yuuri. I may as well use it to make beautiful art. I learn from and remember my pain just as I hold onto my joy and share that with the world as well. We need our darker emotions. They are what gives the world color and make us human.”

“But isn’t it easier to avoid those emotions instead?” Yuuri cast his eyes down like he was ashamed. His next words were whispered, a confession in the still of night to a stranger he admired. “I always stop myself from feeling too strongly. I didn’t really see the purpose of those emotions, of giving into or holding onto them, especially with the way life can change so quickly. Seeing you skating just now, and how it made me feel watching you makes me wonder…”

“We need our pain Yuuri. Pain and fear and anger and grief and joy and love,” His voice stuttered but he pushed through, desperate to get this information to Yuuri. “Those are the most important parts of life. Don’t shy away from them. Live each moment to it’s fullest and learn to reflect back on what has happened so you can inform your future. Take risks and learn to live with the results, even if they are not positive. In skating, you can’t learn to jump without falling. Sometimes falling hurts, but we get up again and we keep trying. All of life should be treated like that.”

Yuuri looked a bit lost and defeated, so Victor tried to cheer him up. “You aren’t so bad at it. After all, I have a feeling you aren’t supposed to have snuck out to watch me?” Yuuri flushed, embarrassed, and Victor smiled. “Chris will be delighted. He loves that sort of thing. This is a good time to be impulsive, while you are with him. He can teach you all about chasing your interests and comforting yourself when you lose out. Just look at all his silver medals!”

Yuuri laughed and Victor felt better. He hadn’t wanted this to be another sad parting. They spent another few minutes picking on Chris and quietly calming down. When Victor felt Yuuri was stable enough to return, he admitted to himself that their time together was at an end once again. He had to let Yuuri go.

If he could just have this, a simple friendship where he could continue to guide Yuuri and grow with him, he would be content. Maybe he could argue a case to keep Yuuri in his life. Become a consistent mentor through the chaos.

It would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on shorter, imperfect chapters so I have that skill and don't stress so much. It's so hard but I am learning that this is enough, even if its not everything I want. 
> 
> As always, feel free to fill in details yourself and let me know what you think or feel. @adrianasbusybrain on tumblr or here in the comments. Check out my other works if you like more detail.


	4. Apparition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected meeting does not go as well as previous times.

Victor did not expect he would see Yuuri again.

The company that made Yuuri was not favorable to the idea of him staying in Yuuri’s life in any capacity. At first, he was hopeful because Emil had thought his advice was wonderful and fought to help Yuuri retain their last moment. 

Then came the lawyers and paperwork and threat of fines and litigation. Emil decided to keep his job, but Victor’s only allegiance was to Yuuri, so he refused to stay silent and threatened back to expose them publicly, consequences be damned. In the end, he entered a lengthy arbitration process with corporate, each with a list of demands to seek a settlement on. 

He won his most important point. Since it had such a deep-reaching impact on Yuuri’s development before they could get to him, Yuuri would be allowed to keep the contents of their conversation. 

Only because it was in the best interest of the experiment and their progress toward a profitable product was Yuuri allowed to advance and open himself up to new experiences. What they were doing was reprehensible, but Victor could not regret the fact that Yuuri had been created because every time they met he fell in love with who Yuuri was becoming all over again. 

He won the battle, but he lost the war. Victor was never allowed to see Yuuri or inquire about him ever again, this time by law. Due to the contract he had signed (which he really wished he had bothered to read), they considered him an employee who was misusing company property, and as such had no right to privacy. He had strict guidelines on where he was allowed to work and perform, and they made sure to keep Yuuri away from those countries. Now they were both prisoners until the company decided the experiment was over and released them from their obligations. It could be years if it happened at all. 

What happened to version one of a robot? What happened if everything got too complicated and the company decided Yuuri was not worth the effort? Would Victor even know?

The stress of it all was getting to him, and tonight he had rebelled a little. He had a provisional permit to travel due to his involvement with Stars On Ice, provided he stay on either the hotel or event center grounds at all times. They had just finished three shows in Japan, the last of which ended in Osaka. After a week of reluctantly performing, he had ‘missed’ his flight home. Oops. In a little under five hours he was in Saga Prefecture, a less populated tourist destination he remembered having read about in a travel book he had at home for years. He just wanted to be free of it all for the evening, to pretend none of his worries existed and he was just a normal tourist. 

It was April again, one year after meeting Yuuri. It seemed fitting to spend it in Japan, wondering if Yuuri would ever get to connect to the culture they modeled him after. He wandered around taking photos and eating street food until his feet led him to a traditional bathhouse that promised healing and peace. 

It was a struggling onsen populated mostly by locals who had just worked a hard day and stopped by on their way home to their families. The couple that ran the bathhouse, Mr. and Mrs. Katsuki, were adorable and friendly, seeing to everyone personally and working far harder than anyone their age should be working. They claimed to have help, but he had only seen one other woman wearing an apron and she took more cigarette breaks than did actual work. Despite that, every room was immaculate and his dinner was deeply satisfying. 

Victor took a deep breath and sunk down lower into the steaming waters of the outdoor both, feeling himself relax by degrees. He had somehow brought snow with him from Russia all the way to this quiet corner of Japan, but he liked how the bite of cold in the air contrasted with the warm water. He tried to imagine the stress and anger flowing from his body and dissipating into the water, leaving him feeling calm and centered.

It was almost working.

The problem was, every time he tried to close his eyes and tune out the world some sounds would sneak past his defenses. Admiring murmurs from the tub next to him, the tone transcending language barriers. Sizzling pops of frying panko and the accompanying scent making him hungry for more delicious food. The squeaking of wet sneakers running through the complex, soon followed by thudding frantic footfalls at they grew closer and closer. The slam of sliding doors opening and closing in rapid succession. Finally, the panting breaths of the presumed searcher, sounding far too close for Victor’s liking. He squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to block out the world.

There was only one voice that could have penetrated his defenses. It whispered his name reverentially like he was a mirage that would disappear at any moment. Victor’s eyes snapped open and there was Yuuri. He looked disheveled, his hair soft and sticking out in every direction, peppered with snow. He must have been outside, his thick coat and boots shifting and rustling with every heavy breath. 

Victor whispered Yuuri’s name back at him, just as worshipful and disbelieving. Yuuri’s eyes went wide. A question escaped his lips in mumbled Japanese. It sounded confused and incredulous. Victor moved forward toward him and Yuuri stepped back in response. Victor stood, nudity forgotten, and Yuuri looked equally horrified and fascinated, taking in every detail of his body even as he still backed away. Then a too familiar look of frustration passed over his face, but this time it was followed by anger. Yuuri buried his hands into his wet hair and gasped like he was in pain. His eyes screwed shut and his breathing grew shorter. Victor tried to rush over to help him, but the sound of splashing alerted Yuuri to his movement. He scrambled back until he hit the wall, eyes flying open again. Then he turned and dashed back out the way he came. Victor grabbed a towel and slipped across the floor as quickly as he could, but between the maze of small rooms filled with tubs and closed screens everywhere, he lost Yuuri. 

He must have looked like a madman, frantically searching while he dripped and slid through the place, but he did not care. When he realized it was too late, he returned to his clothes, despondent. Dressing quickly, he set his goal to see if anyone knew anything, starting with the front desk. 

Victor made sure to clear his bill first, not wanting to seem like a rude or angry customer. Then he calmly and politely asked Mrs. Katsuki if she knew Yuuri. Her entire manner changed. She continued to smile at him and nodded stating that he worked for them temporarily. He was so helpful and such a sweet boy she chirped. Victor knew fake cheer; he had lived in it for years. He continued the facade though, asking if she knew where he might be. She snuck a look to her husband in the next room, and he joined her. Together they stood shoulder to shoulder, and Victor felt the impenetrable wall of protection they formed. He asked if they could speak privately, allowing some of his fear and desperation to bleed through, hoping they would sense his sincerity. Mrs. Katsuki was the first to crack under his puppy dog eyes, and she led them away to an empty room. 

“Please, I know Yuuri, we have met before, I just want to know that he is ok.”

They hesitated in unison. Then her husband placed a gentle hand of support on his wife's shoulder and she nodded. They never even looked at each other, but they knew what the other was thinking. Victor could only hope to achieve that level of love and trust with someone someday. He supposed it took decades. 

“There is a place Yuuri goes when he is upset. The old Ice Palace. Skating helps him clear his head and relax.”

“He seemed in pain and I want to check on him. Could you let me know where it is?”

“I’m sure he would be very flattered Vicc-chan, but Yuuri is a very sensitive boy. He gets upset easily and needs his space. If you are part of what unsettled him, we kindly request that you do not pursue him tonight. We are sure that once he processes whatever bothered him, he will be back. If he needs further help, he will share his problem with us and we will do our best for him. It is what family does.”

Victor reeled from the deluge of information she so gently imparted. Yuuri expressed large emotions, frequently. Yuuri had a hobby to help handle those emotions. Yuuri was still skating. Skating was his happy place. It was something he chose for himself in his free time. He had people who cared for him and supported his hobby and his emotions. 

Yuuri had a family.

Mrs. Katsuki took his hand and patted it while Mr. Katsuki smiled reassuringly at him. Perhaps that is just the people they were? Those who comforted and fed anyone who walked through their doors and into their lives. That was the real healing power of this onsen. 

Which meant, of course, that Yuuri didn’t really need him. 

He thanked them for their time, and let them know he would respect their wishes. They smiled and told him he was welcome back any time, with the firm tones of ‘as long as you do not upset anyone in our family further.’

Victor headed out into the cold and nearly ran into a solid form just around the corner of the wall. It was nearly dark and the figure was shadowed, but the scent of tobacco let him know who it was. 

“You the reason Yuuri ran off like that?”

The bluntness of the question hit him like a train. He did not know how to answer, nodding out of baffled honesty.

“Figures.” She stubbed her cigarette into the wall, then used her sleeve to wipe off the mark. “I always thought his obsession with you was weird. What kind of robot collects posters?”

Victor didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent, hoping for more information.

“I don’t know what you did to freak him out, but don’t do it again. He’s messed up enough as it is. He can barely function so don’t glitch him out more, got it? I will bring the full wrath of Japanese fangirl twitter down on you if I have to.” 

He nodded again, and she huffed and shouldered past him, heading back inside. Victor was so overwhelmed with the information he headed back to his hotel to try and puzzle it out, knowing sleep would not come.

There were a hundred questions about Yuuri and his mental health running through Victor’s head, but they all boiled down to one concern. Was Yuuri ok? The elder Katsuki’s had made Victor believe he was. Mari, the younger and somehow more cynical member of the family, had smashed that belief in seconds. 

He lay in bed contemplating what he would say to Yuuri tomorrow. 

When he arrived back at the onsen, it was too late. Yuuri was gone. 

He had returned from skating last night and holed up in his room, booking tickets on the first flight back to the lab. Whatever was wrong needed fixing. That was all the Katsuki’s would, or could, tell him. So Victor did the same. All the while he tried to send messages to Emil, to Michele, to corporate, to whoever was listed in his phone and might have some information. Half of the numbers were already disconnected. Some had him blocked. The rest did not answer. 

For two weeks he persisted, running up against brick walls and overly polite rejections. It was not until he was standing in the lobby of the building he had visited when this all began, ranting at the lady at the front desk who refused to give him elevator access, that he heard back something useful. His phone pinged to show two messages separate unknown numbers.

Please Stop -M

Be Patient - E

He tried to text them back, but the numbers were already unresponsive. Victor decided to trust the messages, took a deep breath, and went home to wait as long as he had too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The alternate chapter title was 'Panic! At the onsen.'
> 
> Just one chapter left. I promise it will be ok. Check the tags and have faith.


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor's wait for an update on Yuuri is at an end, but what future awaits them?

An excruciating three months later, Victor’s doorbell rang. Victor opened the door with no hesitation. Whatever happened, he would face it head-on and with force. This was how he always opened the door these days, despite the fact that it had only ever been the mail delivery or his old teammates checking to see if he was still alive and sane. 

His sanity was questionable, but he appreciated their concern. 

Except, this time it wasn’t the mail. He opened the door and had a wave of deja vu wash over him. To the right was Emil, smiling at him with professional courtesy. To the left was Michele, looking up and down the hallway like he expected a police raid at any second. Behind them both was Yuuri. His hair was soft but the glasses were gone, eyes bright and open and expressive. Just like before, Emil cleared his throat and politely asked if they could come in. Victor stepped back automatically. 

He never truly believed this day would come. Then again, he did not know what news they brought. It could not be too bad since Yuuri was here, but that did not mean it would be all good either. He did not even know if Yuuri knew who he was this time. There were no outward signs from Yuuri. Victor would just wait before making any conclusions. 

As Yuuri passed by him on his way inside, eyes on the floor, Victor kept himself from doing something stupid like leaping out and wrapping Yuuri in the biggest hug ever and never letting him leave. If he broke a contract and forced them apart further it would not be worth it. He could wait. They had told him to be patient, so he would. He would do anything for Yuuri. 

As Yuuri settled on the couch between Dr. Ni — his friends Emil and Michele, he took in every detail in the apartment he could find. What had changed? What had stayed the same? He was grateful to find it was mostly the same. The comforting familiarity settled his nerves a bit. Cataloging the furniture also gave him something to look at other than Victor’s face. His jaw was locked, his eyes were hard, and his posture screamed distress. 

Yuuri ran through the numbers in his head again and the 94% success chance of Victor not hating him only dropped to 92% with this additional information. While not negligible, he was willing to risk the 8% chance of heartbreak. It was a far lower number than the 97.3% chance Victor had taken on when living with him for three months while he did his best to be exactly what Victor had needed. Guilt clenched in his gut again, but he heard Emil’s sage advice from their counseling sessions. You cannot change the past, you can only accept it and move forward with your values guiding you to a future you desire. 

Yuuri had chosen the future he desired. He just hoped that Victor still desired the same thing. 

Victor sat across from them, perched on the edge of his seat, looking at them like they were a three-headed cobra that could strike at any moment. Emil began with some pleasantries; how are you, lovely weather, where is your next show? Victor was having none of it. His tone razor-sharp, he cut to the point.

“What can I help you with?”

Emil paused and turned slightly, head tilted in question. “Yuuri?”

Oh. Right. Yuuri was the one responsible for their being here. They were here to help him. He was his own person and as such was expected to speak for himself and lead the way. 

One after another, scenarios where he said or did the wrong thing began to play in his mind, dropping his 92% to nothing. Memories of Victor saying goodbye to him sadly flashed one after the other and he seized up. This was too unknown, too dangerous. 

“Could you begin? I’m not sure where to start.” He felt a tiny amount of shame. Less than he would have felt if he had messed everything up. Emil frowned, but nodded, turning back to Victor. 

“We are here with good news Victor. We are all free men! No longer can the evil conglomerate hold us down, and it’s all thanks to Yuuri.”

“How?”

This, Yuuri could answer. “I threatened to sue them.”

“You what? I tried that as well, but I was forced into arbitration. The contracts —”

“I was not under contract.” Silence rang as Victor absorbed the implications. It still made Yuuri’s blood boil, having been treated as a piece of property, no more valued than a printer or company car would be. They had made a grave mistake in that assessment.

“It was easy to find several high profile lawyers willing to be the first to defend Android rights in a landmark case. Regardless of whether I won or lost, the lawsuit would have been public knowledge and poor press, neither of which they wanted. My demand was for them to let myself and anyone else who wanted to exit the project do so peacefully. We are under non-disclosures, so it’s still a secret, but honestly, I prefer that no one knows who I am while I’m still figuring everything out. 

Victor looked stunned. In a good way. His eyes darted back and forth between the three of them, but settled on Yuuri, making him self-conscious. His eyes were so beautiful and Yuuri wanted to study the changes in them too. He hoped he would get the chance. To hold himself still, he tucked his hands under his thighs, a habit he had picked up from his time with Phichit. He missed Phichit too, but this was the first and most important stop he had to make. 

Victor was still staring at him, mouth hanging open in the most inviting way. What would making love to Victor feel like now that he had his emotions fully online?

He wanted to find out. Desperately. 

Michele’s elbow in his side brought him out of his fantasies and back into the real world, where he had missed some part of the conversation. He blinked, playing back the conversation in his mind. Victor had congratulated them and asked again how he could help, but more sincerely this time. He must have taken far too long to respond, so Emil had already jumped to his rescue. 

“Maybe it’s best if I tell the story, from the beginning. There’s so much that you did not know, and we all withheld our bits of information until Yuuri pieced it all together. When we started this project, Michele and I had been paid an exorbitant amount of money to play in a resource-rich lab that catered to our every hope and need. It was a dream come true. You saw the pamphlets and remember the main goal of the Companion Project; create a human-like AI who will be so believable he can blend in with real humans and behave like one of them. It seemed simple enough, and we thought we were doing just that. As you probably remember, to us Yuuri was just a machine when we brought him to you. 

Victor, did you know that out of three hundred applicants you were the top qualified in every category? It really was fate that you were the first to meet Yuuri —”

Yuuri heard a strangled sound escape his body. Would there ever be an end to the secrets they had all kept? “Not exactly. You asked me to review the applications and suggest the top applicants. I wouldn’t say that it was an entirely number based decision…It’s not that he wasn’t qualified! The data I gave you was accurate, it’s just that the top few candidates were all within a tenth of a percent from each other, so I chose the one who seemed the most, um, interesting.”

Sexy? Fun? Sad? Lonesome? He wasn’t sure what had drawn him to Victor, but whatever it was, the feeling hadn’t waned. He still wanted to get to know everything about the man for all of time.

He peeked up to see a smile bloom on Victor’s face, the first one he had seen in so long. It helped him want to tell his own story, to see Victor’s reaction to his words and hold his attention. 

“So Emil created my brain to learn to mimic human actions until they became natural, and Michele created my body to look and act human, and you helped them see what they had missed. What no one realized was that you three had done your jobs much better than you probably should have. I think and feel and function just like a human, with all the same flaws and needs and dreams. Which, of course, made it unethical to continue manipulating my memories.”

Emil sighed. “I convinced myself that it wouldn’t affect you, that it was part of my job and part of the contract and part of the experiment and part of life. I can never apologize enough.”

“You did the right thing returning the memories to me, Emil. All is forgiven.”

Victor sat up straighter, drawing their attention. “You remember? Everything?”

Yuuri could only nod. It was all still overwhelming, the deluge of information that came with getting a year's worth of memories restored all at once. It had taken him time to try to process all of it and decided how he felt about each moment in relation to who he was now and what he had learned along the way. He might not ever stop flinching in embarrassment about treating Victor like an idol, or knowing he himself had inspired that heartbreaking rendition of Stammi Vicino. Living with those memories haunting him was a part of being human, too. 

Once again, Emil jumped in to explain.

“You see, we never entirely removed the memories, we just encrypted them in a way that Yuuri could not read. He did not know it, but they were there all along. Honestly, we were never that good at entirely extracting every nuance of interaction, which is why Yuuri kept having difficulty.”

Michele spoke for the first time, arms flying and voice raised. “I told them all it was a stupid idea, but no one listened to me. The body needs to remember! The brain might be fooled but every movement you make is for a purpose, and usually, that purpose is tied to someone else. We are social creatures, it is how we survive! Do you know how difficult it was to keep the knowledge of how to eat after they removed every meal he had eaten with you! It was like working in a minefield full of gopher holes! Ridiculous!”

Yuuri agreed. “I would have these flashes, where my memory banks would recognize something subtle and go to retrieve the data and it would just come back empty. I didn’t understand. It was very frightening. When you came to Michigan, I was so confused because I knew you, but I had never met you and I thought maybe it was from Phichit but it was more than knowing you as a skater. I knew the way you would move, and I knew your heartbeat, and your voice made me react in ways it shouldn’t have if I had just met you. None of it made any sense. Then you pushed me about the book which revealed that we had known each other and I assumed I was malfunctioning.”

“I’m sorry I scared you, Yuuri, I felt awful afterward. It was rash, and I did not think through the consequences.”

“No! It was perfect because you taught me how to identify the feeling of a missing memory. That knowledge stayed with me. 

No one had bothered to tell me about the privacy clause of a contract I was not a part of, figuring I did not need to know. When they thought they fixed the problem and sent me out again, I still chose someone close to you unconsciously, and they used that against me. 

They made me believe I knew you so well because you were Chris’s friend, and that you two had skated together, and that I watched so many videos of you so it was understandable you seem familiar. The worst part is that it worked. I learned to ignore the missing feeling more and more, to not trust it or myself. I would skate instead and pour my excess emotions into the art, just like you taught me too. It helped, but I was still off. 

Then you showed up at the onsen and I had that missing feeling again when I saw you. Only this time it couldn’t be a coincidence because I knew that you had freckles on your hips that were perfect for kissing, and there was no way I had learned that in an interview.”

As Yuuri’s brain caught up to his mouth he realized what he had said out loud. Emile and Michele looked equally embarrassed, but Victor was ecstatic. A heart-shaped grin, the biggest he could make, graced his face and his eyes were glowing. Yuuri continued.

“I came back the next day and demanded that all of my memories be restored. My rage seemed to be the final straw and Emil and Michele complied immediately, risking their careers to help me. To protect them I built the perfect lawsuit and as soon as we were able, we all left.”

Victor’s eyes were shining with proud, unshed tears. This would be the hardest part to tell him, but Yuuri had vowed always to be honest with everyone. He was done with secrets and lies. 

“That was over a month ago. I have been staying with Emil, and he has been helping me process the trauma from everything I went through. I could not come straight here because I wasn’t sure who I was, or what I wanted. You deserve more than that, and I am sorry it took so long for you to know what had happened.”

“Oh Yuuri! Thank you for coming and thank you for protecting yourself and thank you for being stronger than all of us. Please, don’t worry about anyone else. Take all the time you need to feel safe.”

Victor was crying, leaning forward but clutching onto the arms of his chair like they were the only things holding him back from jumping up and pulling Yuuri into his arms. His selfless answer resolved Yuuri’s mind that this was the right step for him to take and that there was nowhere else he would rather be than in those loving arms. Victor was where he felt safe. 

He ran the numbers again, just for good luck, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind. He felt confident enough to borrow a move from Chris, who he was sure would not mind. He leaned forward, his eyes wide and innocent. He fluttered them for good measure, and he was pretty sure Victor stopped breathing. Yuuri hadn’t properly appreciated how fun this was the first time he was here. He planned to make up for that. 

“Thank you so much, but Emil has to move back home and I need a new place to live. Do you know somewhere I could live, Victor?” 

“Here!” Victor’s voice cracked in his excitement, but he soon smoothed it out. “You are welcome to stay here as long as you need Yuuri, I would love to have you.”

The surge of joy brought Yuuri to his feet and he had only taken a step before he was where he wanted to be, in Victor’s eager arms. 

They held each other until he felt Emil and Michele stand next to him, ready to dismiss themselves.

“Good luck you two, take care of each other.”

“What will you do?”

“Yuuri has helped me rediscover my love for counseling, so I will try that again.”

Michele scoffed. “I am going to go design something that doesn’t think; like a toaster. If you ever need repairs, call me. I live nearby and I’m not about to let my best work fall apart.”

With a final round of goodbyes, they left, and Victor was finally alone with Yuuri. His Yuuri. They became reacquainted with each other's bodies until Victor’s stomach growled for food. Yuuri professed that he could use the biggest bowl of pasta sold in the area to help him relax and Victor looked at him in amazement. This was his Yuuri, and also a Yuuri he had never met all at once. 

“It’s going to take me a while to get used to the parts of you I do not know. There have been so many changes, but I am excited to meet the new you once again Yuuri. I hope you never stop surprising me.”

“That is why I wanted to be with you again. I know I can be myself with you because you always meet me where I am. Thank you, Vitya.”

“I will be happy to help you learn and grow as long as I am able, my Yuuri. Now let's get you that pasta. Have you ever tried risotto? It’s my favorite comfort food!”

There was so much for them to explore, and they would do it all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm a day late. I decided to re-write this last chapter in Yuuri's pov at midnight last night because I am a maniac. It just seemed more personal this way and revealed more information. I kept the beginning and end of Victor's chapter but scrapped the rest. I hope the ending was satisfying, it was rushed and I'm not the best at cute fluffy moments but I tried. Thanks!
> 
> Thanks to @dreamer9817 for listening to me rant every day and being my beta and cheerleader. You are so appreciated.
> 
> If you frequent Tumblr come visit me @adrianasbusybrain is my YOI blog. 
> 
> if you like fics here are my other main fics - 
> 
> Victor Off Ice - Very similar in tone to this fic, sad victor quits skating and Yuuri goes to Russia to find him.  
> 70k words unfinished. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8729719
> 
> Ebb and Floe - A Project runway AU with Designer Yuuri and Model Victor. Much funnier and more lighthearted.  
> 32k finished with a side story! https://archiveofourown.org/works/11312592
> 
> Did My Heart Love Till Now? - Completely self-indulgent Romeo and Juliet fic that I play with whenever I am frustrated.  
> 20k will probably never be finished https://archiveofourown.org/works/11374872/

**Author's Note:**

> So I love Android fics and this idea of becoming who you are because of all the people you have met in your life is one of my favorite canon themes. It fits Yuuri nicely. While the story will be in Victor's POV I do consider it a Yuuri Fic. I just am more comfortable writing Victor and if I had to write the thoughts of an android I would way overthink it and would have never finished.
> 
> The whole work is finished and will be updated every 2-3 days.
> 
> Thanks for reading and check out my other works! Feel free to find me on tumblr @adrianasbusybrain or leave a comment here I would love to hear from you!


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